


love a la françoise

by glitteration



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, F/M, M/M, Magic Made Them Do It, Multi, Praise Kink, Threesome - F/M/M, absolutely zero attempts made to pretend the plot matters here, but it's old fashioned dirty talk, costarring Waverly and her amazing timing, religion kink (kind of), this is pretty extra tbh, worship kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-06 19:51:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11607795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitteration/pseuds/glitteration
Summary: “Is it hot in here? Like, is anybody else just…”“Dripping?”Dolls dashed the sweat collecting on his bare chest away impatiently, but a few stray drops escaped to wind their way down his abdomen and into the waistband of his boxers.Wynonna gaped, unable to tear her eyes away even if she wanted to. Where his clothes went was kind of a blur, but dripping was…“Accurate, yeah.” His fingertip caught on a nipple and he shuddered a little and she swallowed,hard. “So… so accurate.”ORThat one time a curse made them do it.





	love a la françoise

**Author's Note:**

> Baby's first Wynonna Earp fic. Set early s1-ish, circa Constant Cravings. It's an excuse for porn and nothing more, yolo, so the timeline's a little off when it comes to the actual the hunt for the Seven OH WELL GO WITH IT.
> 
> And just because I'm a giant nerd, if anybody can tell me what the title is referencing (GOOGLE IS CHEATING, DON'T BE A CHEATER) I'll write you another OT3 fic, because deep cut nerd love is real love.

Looking back, she should have realized something was going on much sooner. The whole day was just _weird_ , right from the jump.

 

* * *

 

The sniping started early. That wasn’t weird, but when it upgraded to bitching, and past there right on into territory better occupied by bratty little rugrats than two supposedly grownass men, that absolutely was. They even _bumped chests_ , crowding into each other’s space and practically breathing the same air.

It was hot, sure, but not hot enough to be a pass for dipping into the fratboy well, and she tuned back into the substance of the argument to tell them so.

“—yeah, well, world’s changed a lot while you were stuck in that well.”

“I was _not_ born in the woods to be scared by an owl. Wynonna, would you please tell the deputy marshal—”

“Hard no, Doc. You want to play telephone, find somebody else, otherwise saddle up and tell him whatever it is yourself. I’m gonna go get a donut.”

Their argument was a low buzz of wordless testosterone from the next room as she snagged the last jelly-filled. The buzz got louder as she munched on one edge, squishing the jelly out to slurp at its delicious donut guts.

“... _kidding me_...”

Dolls’ voice floated through the door, clear enough to be understood and Wynonna rolled her eyes, giving the donut a commiserating glance. “Men, am I right?”

 

* * *

 

By lunch, it got weirder.

 

* * *

 

When she left to grab a sandwich, they’d been glaring at each other but otherwise acting like adults again; when she got back, not so much.

“Are you accusing me of something, Deputy Marshal Dolls? If so, I’d thank you to be enough of a man to say it right out.”

Wynonna sighed and dropped her bag with a thud, ostentatious enough it really should have warranted an eyeroll from Dolls, but the little live action reenactment of bucks in rut carried on without an eyebrow twitched her way.

 _Damn_.

Dolls pulled a faux-apologetic face, arms folded stubbornly across his chest. “I’m sorry, was I not clear enough? I think you’re reckless, and you’re definitely hiding something. You’re in this for your own reasons, not to get the job done, and in spite of all your skills and what you can offer us, that makes you a liability.”

“A _liability_?” Doc all but howled the word, hand hovering at his side with an urge Wynonna recognized all too well. “You can stow your half compliments, sir, I take your meaning, and if that’s how you feel I will most certainly show you a goddamned liability, you—”

They’re still standing close enough that if this turns into Fight Club for real there’s no way she can keep them from stomping each other good. “ _Oooh_ -kay, boys, enough with the measuring.” She placed a hand on each of their chests, pushing until there was a good foot of air between them. “Or do it for real, and gimme a second to get my phone before you whip ‘em out, I want something to remember this by.”

“Nobody’s whipping anything out.” Doc made a slight sound of protest, the little _ehhn_ loaded with way more goading than one syllable should be able to convey. Dolls glared at him, heartbeat starting to race under her palm again. “Holliday and I understand each other, don’t we? I’m watching him…”

Doc’s heartbeat hadn’t slowed down again like Dolls’ had, but it still kicked up another notch at his words. “And I will be keeping both my eyes on _you_ , deputy marshal.”

“Great.” Wynonna lingered on the t, forcing it through her teeth with a noisy half-sigh. “If checking each other out is the plan, don’t let me stop you. You’ve both got great asses, so if you’re looking for a starting point…”

They both retreated to their separate corners to sulk in silence, but over the next couple hours each time one of them got up Wynonna caught the other taking her advice, stealing glances with less and less subtlety.

 

* * *

 

After that, time went sticky and vague, and Wynonna decided weird ceased to be an adequate word for what happened. Not after everything slid through home plate and right on into motherfucking _hinky_.

 

* * *

 

“Is it hot in here? Like, is anybody else just…”

“Dripping?”

Dolls dashed the sweat collecting on his bare chest away impatiently, but a few stray drops escaped to wind their way down his abdomen and into the waistband of his boxers.

Wynonna gaped, unable to tear her eyes away even if she wanted to. Where his clothes went was kind of a blur, but dripping was…

“Accurate, yeah.” His fingertip caught on a nipple and he shuddered a little and she swallowed, _hard_. “So… so accurate.”

“Wouldn’t say I’m fresh as the morning, myself.” Doc frowned down at his knees, fanning himself with one hand. Seeing him without the hat was not as weird on fourth glance, even if why he’d discarded it was lost in the same fog obscuring why Dolls felt the need to strip down.

“So we all agree, it’s on the verge of swamp ass territory in here.” Wynonna blinked down at her own bare legs. “Is that why I took off my pants?”

As one, the two men stared at her legs, silently, and she preened a little under the attention before snapping her fingers. The resulting sound lacked the sharp pop she wanted, but Wynonna did it again anyway, and again, until they both looked back up.

“Focus in, guys. They’re great legs, but I’m still trying to solve the mystery of where the hell my pants went. Chop chop.”

Doc inhaled, thoughtful. “The, ah… what did you call it?”

“Swamp ass.”

His mustache twitched in amusement, ever-pleased at new, more colorful way to describe the world. “Right. The swamp ass would seem the most likely culprit for your current lack of trousers.”

“It would make sense.” Dolls nodded, staring down at his equally naked thighs, then Doc’s. “Probably why we did it, too.”

“Oh, well-deduced, Deputy Marshall Dolls.” Like her snap lost its crackle, Doc’s jibe fell way short of the mark, turning into something gentler, a little like he teased Waverly. “Come up with that on your own?”

Dolls grinned in answer, wide and with teeth, but not the scary grin he’d given him in the interrogation room and Doc and Wynonna caught their breath as one.

“You have such a great smile.” And soft lips, plush under her fingers when she traced the curve of that shockingly sweet smile. Deciding to move towards him was foggy like why they’d all stripped down to their skivvies, too, but Dolls was just so pretty and he really needed to keep smiling like that. “You should let it out to play more often. Bet it gets lonely, trapped behind the stern boss face.”

“Oh I should, huh?” He nodded and her hand bobbed a little with his head and then fell to bounce off his shoulder, making them all laugh. “I gotta tell you, I’m having trouble coming up with an argument for why I shouldn’t.”

Doc answered before Wynonna could find the right way to convince Dolls that his face was made to smile like that. “Well then, perhaps you should take the path of least resistance and cease to try at all.”

Dolls raised an eyebrow. “And why’s that?”

“Because, my dear deputy marshal, when you’re smiling like that you are very nearly tolerable.”

Dolls’ eyes flew from Wynonna to Doc like metal shavings to a magnet, but not before she caught the odd, cracked open look they held. _‘My dear’_. Wynonna mouthed the words silently, watching the men watch each other and feeling heat pool between her legs.

Neither of them noticed, too busy eyeing each other up like last call. “So it’s like that, yeah? Two on one?” Dolls didn’t seem like he minded the idea.

“Dolls…” Wynonna shifted a little, fingers practically itching with the need to reach out and touch him.

His hand on her waist was warm and huge and entirely a surprise. Wynonna inhaled sharply, then leaned into the touch before he had a chance take it wrong and freeze and pull away.

“Yeah, Earp?” He used his grip to tug her in closer, until they were pressed up chest to chest like he was earlier with Doc. Her nipples brushed against him and even through her bra she could feel his heat, radiating from inside out like he’d swallowed a live coal. She whimpered, a desperate little sound of need that painted her cheeks a brighter red.

“Kiss her, Dolls. She wants you to.” Doc ran his knuckles over her back, flicking her bra’s clasp open in one easy motion and helping her slip it off. “I’ve seen how much with my own two eyes, and believe me it has caused me no end of vexation.”

“So what changed?” Dolls’ hand tightened on her waist, but he scanned Doc’s face with intent eyes. “You decide it doesn’t piss you off anymore?”

“Well now, this is a different set of circumstances entirely.”

“How’s that?”

Doc’s grin was sinful. “When I imagined it previously I did not imagine getting to partake in the experience myself.”

Turning back to Wynonna, Dolls gave her face the same scrutiny he gave Doc’s and a smile creased his cheeks again. “You do want me to kiss you.”

“Duh. Took you long—”

Dolls swallowed the rest of her words, tongue flickering between her lips in a gentle tease. _Why_ they were doing this still niggled at the back of her mind, but Doc had it right. She’d wanted to kiss Dolls way before she’d _liked_ Dolls, because he was a prickly man with a beautiful, beautiful body, and Wynonna had eyes just like anyone else.

It’s better that they waited. Better to know him enough to see beyond the asshole government drone outsides to the decent boss-slash-standup guy insides.

He tasted like coffee and cinnamon gum and something else that reminded her of the air after a campfire she couldn’t quite place, stubble rasping pleasantly against her cheeks and chin.

For a guy who came off like such an autocratic hardass, his kiss was just as sweet as his smile, and his hands followed middle school rules: one on the back of her neck, one mid-back, absolutely zero feels copped, like he was waiting for her to say the word go before taking it any further. His dick was drilling a hole in her stomach and he was still well-behaved as a prom date facing down a shotgun.

It was… sweet. There was that word again, taking her previously bulletproof impression of Dolls and chucking it right out the window.

It was also way too slow. Wynonna grabbed the hand resting on her back and pulled it down, stifling a happy sigh when his fingers instinctively curled around her flesh to held on just as tight once she left go, hand flexing on her ass with the kind of strength that promised _really_ good things in her future.

Tired of being left out, Doc kneeled up behind her and kissed her neck, another solid line of warmth at her back, trapping Dolls’ arm between them. “Don’t you look a picture, Wynonna, pressed up against him like that.” His mustache tickled the skin as he whispered loud enough for Dolls to hear too, “Beautiful.”

She laughed, breathless. “Me or him?”

“Oh darling, you can’t expect a man to choose just one when two such bounties have been laid out before him.”

Dolls chuffed in amusement and rested his forehead against hers, eyes on Doc. “I’m a bounty, now? I thought I was just almost tolerable.”

“Nearly tolerable, Dolls. Very nearly tolerable.”

“Yeah, I see the obvious difference.”

Wynonna’s mouth curved into a lascivious smile. “You guys are adorable with the whole witty back and forth thing, but I’m thinking the two people in this room who haven’t already made out should probably get on that.”

That was a modern expression Doc understood just fine, clearly, because his dick jerked against her back, spitting pre-come and soaking what appeared to be Champ’s stolen underwear even worse. Wynonna stifled a moan into Dolls’ neck, setting her teeth in the skin and worrying at it gently. (Sure, it’s weird and it really shouldn’t turn her on to wreck somebody’s clothes, but he was _terrible_ for Waverly.)

“Bright as a new penny, sweetheart.” She shuddered when his last kiss before he raised his head ended in a nip, echoing her treatment of Dolls. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“It _is_ one of her better ideas.” Dolls’ grip on her ass tightened and released in tiny unconscious fractions like the kneading of a satisfied cat. “We should probably take her up on it, see if it becomes a pattern.”

Wynonna’s mumbled _hey_ was little more than rote protest, all her attention focused on how close they were to closing what little gap remained between them. “Less banter, more sucking face.”

It was impossible to tell which of the men closed that last inch first, or if they both did; either way, Wynonna sucked in an anticipatory breath as their lips met.

Pressed close between them, every detail of the kiss became hers to share. Each muscle twitch and jerk of their hips drew their misfit circle inwards, until why they shouldn’t do this in the office faded into nothing. Their breathing grew faster and hers followed, tugged along without any effort to resist. She traced covetous hands over two sets of well-muscled shoulders, marvelling at the contrast between them.

“This is like live action porn.” She sighed happily, laughing a little when Dolls broke the kiss to quirk an eyebrow at her. “The good stuff, I promise.” Both their mouths were wet, glinting in the shitty overhead lighting. Wynonna swallowed through a suddenly dry throat. “The best stuff.”

“Oh, well, so long as it’s the only best of pornography.” Over her head, Dolls and Doc shared an unspoken conference, then Dolls used his grip on her back to spin her around in his arms until she was pressed snugly back between them, this time facing Doc. His cock burned hot and hard against her lower belly, insistent and greedy for more attention and her cunt clenched hard around nothing, just as ravenous.

“Is that a gun in your lack of pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

Doc chuckled, brushing a lock of hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. “Come and see,” he whispered, just before his lips met hers.

If kissing Dolls was a steady burning fire, kissing Doc was the flood. Mark it down to the after-effects of too long alone in the dark or just who he was, but Doc kissed like he’d never do it again. Just like he had in the woods he fed at her mouth with barely banked desperation, shameless in his desire, rendered inelegant by its weight.

He didn’t need any encouragement to play grabass, either.

“Well, now, what’s this?” His clever fingers worked their way under her panties, index and middle finger plunging inside to ease some of her own desperate ache. “That’s right, good girl, just like that. Work yourself against me, Wynonna.” He let her ride his hand, crooking his fingers inside her to press against her g-spot with confidence borne of experience. Wynonna stifled a yelp, his fingers feeling huge as her internal walls clamped down on the intrusion. “It seems like you’re chomping at the bit yourself, darling.”

“So, we’re just gonna do this here?” Dolls asked the important question before she could find a snappy retort past Doc’s skilled fingers and the hot, all-consuming vortex of how much a good old fashioned bad idea threesome sounded _fantastic_.

Doc pulled his fingers out of her and this time, Wynonna didn’t even bother trying to hide her disappointed whine. He shh’d her affectionately and rubbed a still wet thumb over the hinge of Dolls’ jaw, knuckles brushing her hair in the process. “Only if all parties involved are amenable to the idea, of course.”

“I’m amenable as _hell_. So very amenable.” Wynonna craned her neck to suck a kiss into Dolls’ jawline, licking at Doc’s knuckles and tasting herself while she’s there for good measure. “How ‘bout you, Dolls? Ready to take the stick out of your ass, see if we can’t put something more fun up there instead?”

Dolls’ eyes went wide and darted between Doc’s hand and her mouth, the pupils blown out like he’d sampled one of everything from the confiscation stash. “ _Jesus_ , Earp. Anybody ever tell you you’re about as subtle as a hurricane?”

“You complaining?”

“...not really.”

“Didn’t think so.” She flicked his nipple with a fingernail, lightly, and then harder when his shudder and indrawn breath begged for another go. “Subtle is a waste of time, and I really want to see him fuck you. Or you fuck him, I’m not picky, but one of you should _definitely_ fuck me.”

Dolls looked at her like she’d demanded he pick a single food to eat for the rest of his life. “What do you want to do?”

“If I might interject?” Doc cocked his head, waiting for permission to continue. When neither of them objected, he inhaled with the kind of faux humility that promised self-congratulation in the near future. “Given that I’ve already had the pleasure of Wynonna’s company, I am more than willing to cede the floor to our marshal this time.”

Wynonna narrowed her eyes. “Okay, a: I’m nobody’s floor to cede, buddy.” On the other hand... “B: Dolls, he’s right, and you should probably take him up on that.”

Dolls nodded once, apparently struck momentarily speechless, and Doc clapped him on the shoulder. The touch lingered long enough to turn it into a caress, his thumb tracing little patterns over the sharp jut of where his shoulder blades seemed to long to be wings. “You won’t regret it, Dolls.” Wynonna would have scolded him for edging into being the kind of creep who brags about his conquests if it weren’t for the reverence in his voice. “She’ll welcome you in with a little sigh… and she’s tight, Dolls, and so hot around you you’ll think she’s about set you both ablaze.”

Wynonna wrinkled her nose. “You make it sound like my vaj should come with a ‘warning! Fire hazard!’ sign.”

He chuckled. “More like the kind of thing a man would willingly risk his life to have again.”

“...you might be overselling it, but hey. What girl doesn’t love a little over the top praise?”

“No, he’s not overselling it.” Dolls cut through the banter, disarmingly sincere.

She snorted and tried to deflect the compliment. “How would you know? He’s the one I already slept with.”

Gracefully for such a large man, Dolls sank to his knees beside them and looked up at her with the kind of grin usually seated on Doc’s face. “You’re right. I guess I’ll have to check for myself.”

Beside her, Doc muttered a low oath, grip gone bruising, and Wynonna laid her head on his shoulder for a moment of lustful solidarity. “ _Right_?” Dolls nuzzled into the soaked crotch of her underwear at the same moment Doc dropped down beside him, and Wynonna gaped down at them, lined up side by side and ready to eat her out. “Oh, yeah, I’ve had this dream before.”

Doc knocked shoulders with Dolls and companionably muscled him to the side so he had room to press a kiss to her upper thigh. Hooking a finger in the waistband of her boyshorts, he slowly pulled them down. “We’ll have to see about improving upon whatever it is you imagined. Dolls?”

“Sounds good to me.” Doc and Dolls on the outs was pretty overwhelming, but as a team force of nature is a better description. Her naked ass was snug up against the edge of her desk before she had time to do much more than take a breath. The metal bit into her ass but when Dolls’ mouth sealed over her bare cunt and gave one slow, leisurely suck, everything else faded away.

“Shit, shit, shit. Fuck, Dolls, oh my God.” He did it again and she yelped, thrusting up into his mouth and making him bear her back onto the desk. “Sorry, shit, just a little too much too soon. Give me like five minutes of warm-up, then I’ll probably shoot you if you don’t do that again.”

His affectionate smile did almost as much to work her up as the gentle kiss he pressed to her center. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Doc stroked her hip, fingers tangling with Dolls’. “What do you want him to do, Wynonna? Where do you want his mouth… tell him how best to please you, darling.”

“Little licks up the center, and gentle circles around my clit—oh fuck, Dolls, just like that.” He obeyed before she managed to finish the order, mouth moving carefully over delicate skin with all the care given to handling holy artifacts.

She squirmed under his mouth, caught up in the image of Dolls kneeling before her, to bury his face between her legs, to _worship_ —

“What thought just crossed your mind, darling, because if that flush is no liar it was a particularly good one.” Doc’s low, arousal thickened burr broke through her near-trance.

“I was just thinking…” She gasped as Dolls thrust his tongue into her, flattening it to rub hard against her inner walls. “Oh God, do that again. And add a finger.” He obliged, and she cupped his skull, urging him on.

“You were thinking...” Doc called her attention back to him.

“I thought it was like he was worshipping me.” She dragged in a fortifying breath, swaying a little on her feet. “Worshipping my cunt.” Saying it made her cheeks and chest flush a scalded red, and between her legs Dolls moaned in agreement.

“Who says I’m not?” He only pulled away far enough to form words and his voice vibrated over sensitive flesh, making her cry out.

Dolls lowered his head again at the same moment Doc sealed his mouth around her nipple, catching it between his teeth and pulling back up, only letting her go with an obscene pop and a quick stinging pain he soothed away with his tongue.

“Of course he’s worshipping you, sweetheart. What man worth his salt wouldn’t, when presented with a warm, willing woman.” He did something she couldn't see that made Dolls jump a little and then arch back into his hand. “And if that woman is you… Wynonna, a man could die happy between your thighs.” He swept his hand down the milky stretch of skin running from behind her knee to where Dolls’ face won’t let him move forward any further, illustrating his point. “Bury himself deep where you’re soft and pink and dripping like a peach split wide open, slide all the way inside and then never leave that bliss.”

Holy _fuck_. Wynonna gulped, hearing her pulse gallop in her ears. “Well, that’s… probably both the weirdest and the hottest thing anybody’s ever said to me.” Her white knuckled grip on Dolls’ head and glassy eyes put the emphasis on hottest.

Raising his head, and ignoring her instinctive petulant whine, Dolls nodded. “I gotta agree with her, Doc, that was… something.”

Doc tipped a hat long since lost somewhere across the room in mock-humbled thanks, lifting a hand to rub his thumb through the moisture shining on Dolls’ mouth. “Does she taste as sweet as she feels, Dolls?”

“Sweeter.” Dolls tugged him in for a kiss, and for a moment Wynonna’s lungs forgot how to take in and expel air. Dolls face was smeared with her from temple to jawline and Doc kept breaking the kiss to taste it—taste _her_ , tongue reaching out in curious little flicks that made her ache for either of them to get this show on the road and fuck her already.

They broke apart with a soft, wet sound. “You were right, Dolls,” he hummed thoughtfully. “She tastes better than I thought possible.”

He kissed her knee, leaving a little smear of her own wetness behind and for a split second Wynonna wondered if maybe this was the way the latest Earp heir went out: death by sex.

Hey, better epitaph than most.

“I think you guys are killing my brain with sex.” She narrowed her eyes down at them, lifting her free hand to shove at the hair in her face. “But I’m still pretty sure you were in the middle of something down there, Dolls.”

“Yessir.” Dolls’ eyes shone with suppressed humor, and he raised a hand to mock salute instead of just getting back to making her come already, the asshole.

“ _Now_ , Dolls.”

This time the gleam in his eyes was darker. “Yes _sir_ ,” he repeated, lowering his face to nuzzle at her wet, swollen flesh, blowing a steady stream of air over her clit. He took it gently between his teeth and started to suck before she could muster a complaint, and the thought was dashed away in how good it felt to have his mouth working steadily on her most sensitive bundle of nerves.

It didn’t take much. The ripe fruit Doc named her was full to bursting, ready to tear open at the seams and core herself out. One careful edge of Dolls’ teeth, a little bit more suction, his bruising grip on her thighs riding the line just before too much to stand; whatever it was, Wynonna grasped blindly at Doc and pulled him in for a kiss as she came, Dolls’ head clutched to her with a ferocity that had to be painful.

He only moaned and sucked harder, tapping the tip of her clit with his tongue until she tumbled gracelessly into a second orgasm right on the heels of the first, arousal strong enough it left her feeling almost sick to her stomach. She dropped to shove at Dolls’ shoulder and he only sucked at her with renewed vigor, making every muscle in her body twitch like the connection between their bodies contained a live wire.

Gasping, she broke away from Doc’s mouth. “Dolls, enough, that’s enough— _Dolls_ , enough!” He pulled away to rest his head against her thigh with a little huffed sound of disappointment, the slick from her cunt drying slow and tacky across his face. Wynonna took a deep breath, then did her best to yank him to his feet, shoving impatiently at his boxers. “Okay, get up here. You promised you were gonna fuck me.”

Her breath rushed out in a loud oof as he stood and slid home in one easy push, seating himself to the root. He paused there, hips square in the cradle of hers, and panted like he’d just run a marathon, body glistening with sweat. “You all right?”

The edge of a desk wasn’t the ideal place to lose herself and revel in the feel of Dolls, huge and hard and filling her completely, but Wynonna was struck dumb in the face of it, nodding helplessly in answer.

“Then can I…”

“I _just_ came, Dolls, a couple times. You were there, remember? Just go for it.” Given permission, his hips slapped into hers with a vicious, meaty sound, driving her breath from her body in a loud rush. He looked down at her, uncertain, and she stretched up enough to grab his ass and pull him down onto her, hard. “I said go for it, Dolls.”

He buried his face in her neck and worked his cock into her, hips rising and falling in less and less coordinated movements until he collapsed and rutted mindlessly into her, breath hot as a bellows against her neck.

Dolls whispered her name over and over into the skin beneath his lips like a prayer as he came, hips working in ragged jerks as slow drops of tears or sweat soaked her hair.

He took a moment to catch his breath and regain his composure, then pulled out and slumped against the desk next to her, seemingly satiated; then Doc coughed and reminded them of his presence. When he glanced over at Doc’s hand and tracked its progress as he jacked himself lazily, Dolls’ eyes were still lit embers. “Doc, grab the gun lube out of my desk drawer. Your turn to do some work around here.”

Wynonna craned her neck to blink at him, confusion intensifying when Doc pulled out a little jar of KY. “Dolls?” She cocked her head at the jar.

He shrugged. “It’s cheap, I’ve used it since my first deployment, you can find it just about everywhere in the country, fast, and it works just fine for fighting corrosion in the field so long as it’s not water based itself. Why mess with it?”

Shaking her head at Dolls being the guy to work up a sensible litany in the middle of a threesome, Wynonna just shrugged, then jumped a little when Doc put his hand on her thigh. “Dolls, if you’re still game… The floor, I think. On your side.”

Wynonna wrinkled her nose. “Kind of cold down there. Why not the desk?”

Doc yanked his coat out from under her desk chair and laid it down with a gentlemanly flourish, arranging a still-pliant Dolls to his satisfaction. “We can’t put on quite the same show for you on the desk, and as another man…” He looked down at Dolls’ cock, resting soft and vulnerable against one muscular thigh. “I wouldn’t want to chance a collision in that state, myself.”

Dolls winced at the idea. “I’m fine with the floor, yeah.” He sank to his knees again and curled onto his side in front of Doc, hooking his foot behind Doc’s back to anchor himself. It left him entirely open to them, unselfconsciously hedonistic and on display.

Wynonna’s throat went dry. “Yeah, me too.” Dolls winced as Doc slowly worked the tip of his index finger in, and Wynonna kneeled down beside them, drawing his attention back to her to distract him and make Doc’s work easier. “KY on guns? No way that’s actually a thing, Dolls. You’re just messing with me, tell the truth: you like to have a little fun at work when nobody’s around.”

His voice was a little forced, but warm. “Hand to God, I’m not pulling your leg. Ask anybody who served, it was the quickest find in theater if you could get anything to keep your weapon maintained at all.”

“Kinky.”

“Earp, you have _no_ idea—shit, do that again.”

Doc chuckled and did whatever it was he did again, making Dolls groan. “Fuuuuuck. I’m good, Doc, I’m good. Just do it already.”

“No, you most certainly are not.” Doc’s arm flexed, and Dolls made a sound like a feral cat; not pained, but not happy either. “As you can now see, deputy marshal, you’re barely ready for three of my fingers, and I’m a bit wider than that yet.” His hand pumped in and out in a teasing rhythm she’d used on herself, and Wynonna watched with fascination until Doc cleared his throat. “Wynonna, darling, if you might me lend a hand… among other things.”

“Got it, right.” Dolls’ cock was still mostly soft, but it jumped when she flattened her tongue and dragged it in a sloppy line from balls to perineum.

“Fuck. _Fuck_.”

The tremor in his voice sounded a little too close to pain to keep going and Wynonna stopped, lips a few inches away from where his cock gleamed with her spit and the slick grasp of her cunt. “You okay there, Dolls? Too soon?”

“No, no, I’m good. I can take it.” She gave him a disbelieving look. “I can take it, Wynonna.”

Unable to tell if he _wanted_ to take it, she abandoned his cock for something a little less intense and nuzzled into the soft skin of his lower belly, breathing in deep and watching Doc’s fingers from right up close. “That is _so hot_. God, Dolls, look at you.”

His thighs strained as he arched up towards her, body mindlessly seeking more of her attention, breath coming out a series of ragged gasps. “Xavier.”

She paused. “What?”

He cleared his throat. “It’s Xavier.”

“Xavier.” Doc stroked a hand down the side of his face, turning Dolls’ face to meet his own, other hand still working between his legs. “Not long now, you’re just about there. Are you going to let me in, Xavier, let me do a little worshipping of my own?” He leaned to kiss him without waiting for an answer, wet and messy and more need than skill.

Dolls moaned into his mouth, and Wynonna picked up the torch. “You gonna let us make you come, Xavier? Doc is gonna fuck you and I’m going to slide right down and put my mouth here…” She cupped his cock, testing its growing weight in her hand, fingertips seeking backwards to trace where his body relented and spread wide around Doc’s hand. “And maybe here, because you’re so pretty. Isn’t he pretty, Doc?”

“As a picture.” Doc’s voice sounded strained, and he nodded at her over Dolls’ head to keep talking.

“See? Even Doc thinks so. It’s too bad you can’t see yourself… I could grab my cell and get a little evidence, prove it to you then keep it for myself next time I need to rub one out.”

Dolls sucked in a quick, shocked breath. “You’re gonna kill me.”

“Only if you say please.”

“ _Please_.”

His voice cracked on a low groan as Doc took his cue and lined himself up, hitching Dolls’ leg a little higher then pulling his hips back as Doc rolled his own forward. At this angle she could take in every detail of the way Dolls’ body gave way to him, yielding to the pressure of his cock and allowing him inside. It felt like she was watching a private moment—not even between Doc and Dolls, but something sacred, meant for Dolls alone. He was so unguarded and willing, so painfully vulnerable. The thought of someone else seeing him like that made her hands clench in slight fists, and she readjusted herself to better block a clear view of their bodies from the door.

If this was anything like what men felt like watching her get fucked, no wonder so many of them got weird about it.

“Feel good, Dolls?” She stroked his taut thigh muscle gently, working at the quivering, barely leashed tension with insistent fingers until he relaxed into Doc’s grip.

“Yeah. Just been a while.” He grunted when Doc chanced a harder thrust forward, inhaling sharply. “I forgot how intense it is on this side of things.”

“Glad to be of service.” Doc chuckled, but two spots of bright red burned above his cheekbones.

She elbowed him in the ribs. “Tell him he’s doing fine, Doc. Talk about peaches again, I don’t know.”

“Oh, I would say he is doing more than just _fine_. And our marshal is hardly a peach—no, not with good strong limbs like these.” He ran a possessive hand over Dolls’ flank, adjusting the angle of his upheld leg slightly. “One of the Morgans the Express favors, and just as smooth a ride. They can go for hours… all night, if the need’s dire. I have every confidence the same’ll hold here.”

“...I have no idea how you make any of that sound hot.”

Dolls laughed, a small stunned sound. “Shouldn’t work, should it.” Doc moved his hips faster and Dolls’ laugh choked off on a moan. “Yeah, that’s it. Like that, but you can take it up another notch.”

Between his thighs, his cock had begun to stir, and Wynonna moved closer to nose at the heavy balls hanging below and the wrinkled skin stretched to its limit around Doc, grinning at their twin guttural moans. After a moment to regain equilibrium Doc started to thrust again, pressing his cock as deep as Dolls’ body allowed and corkscrewing his hips with each push, raking mercilessly over his prostate.

Dolls whimpered and Wynonna stroked his thigh, soothing him like she might the powerful animal Doc named him. “Still good?”

“Better,” he gritted out, cock bouncing against his abs with each solid thwack of Doc’s hips hitting his ass.

“I have to agree.” Doc’s usual charm was frayed around the edges, intent like she’s only seen him when they’re talking about the Stone Witch before now. “Dolls—Xavier, I’m not sure how much longer…”

“Don’t worry about it. Get me off after, we’ll call it even.”

Doc’s bitten-off thank you disappeared into the sharp grunt Dolls let out when his next thrust hit home, and Wynonna watched them rock together with one hands between her legs, clit still sensitive enough to make the pleasure ache a little. As Doc set his teeth in the meat of Dolls' neck and chased his own orgasm Wynonna rubbed her thumb in tight circles over the little bud, sinking into a smaller climax of her own.

Dolls waited for them both to come down, cock thick and heavy again, slapping softly at his belly when Doc gave a regretful little sigh and slipped free of his body, trail of white following him to leak down Dolls’ inner thigh, matching the mess he’d left between Wynonna’s own.

Struck by the sudden urge she kissed him, cupping his face in one hand and tracing the seam of his lips with her tongue, catching the remnants of her own taste on his mouth. Emboldened, she chased that slight tang, only pulling away when Doc coughed with ostentatious politeness.

“I hate to interrupt you, but I believe I owe that gentleman a return on his investment.”

The crash of the outside door hitting the wall with enough force to rattle glass swallowed the words, and they each scrambled to find their clothes before the source of that bang introduced itself personally.

“Wynonna! Wynonna, are you okay?” Waverly skidded through the door, mouth already running at top speed, and Wynonna felt her stomach drop to her still entirely naked knees. “I’ve been calling you, and then I tried Dolls, and Doc doesn’t have a phone and—holy balls, you’re all naked.” She gawked at them until Wynonna glared pointedly and her gaze ping-ponged up to the ceiling and then to a slightly more natural just over their heads. “Ohhhh. Okay, so I don’t need to tell you what’s going on, because you already know!”

“Know _what_ , Waves?” With all that nice blurry softcore porn filter shit gone, Wynonna remembered the road to nudity in perfect technicolor detail.

At least the mystery of the pants was no more.

“There was kind of a ...sex curse?”  
  
Wynonna blinked. “A what now?”

“A sex curse.” Waverly’s tone was apologetic and her eyes stayed glued above their shared effort to get at least halfway clothed again, but the certainty of research shone past her embarrassment. “It was fascinating to research, even on a time crunch. I had to work backwards from the original Sumerian, which is not exactly easy. I can get there, but I have to—do something complicated you guys don’t care about right now, because you're naked and this is really awkward.” She coughed. “CliffsNotes version, she needed worshippers to raise a door into the underworld, this whole gathering lustful energy thing. It, uh… kind of did exactly what it said on the tin. We totally took care of it, though, she won’t be back to horn up the town again.”

Wynonna felt bile churn and start to push its way up her throat, bitterness coating the leftover high and making it cheap. Sure, she’d been up for it either way, but that’s just good ol’ Wynonna. Always up for a shitty life call.

“So, what, people just started screwing whoever happened to be in the vicinity?”

If possible, Waverly looked even more awkward. “Well…”

“ _Waverly_.” Dolls still growled pretty good for a guy just fucked within an inch of his life. “Spit it out.”

“Preexisting desire!” She blurted the words out at a pitch last reached when she was about nine. “I mean, it took ...you know, a little something already there to work with. Like, Pete tried to get fresh on the way here and I was _not_ into it, at all. So if you didn’t already want it, you wouldn’t—”

Wynonna felt her stomach drop again, this time with the uncertain, queasy pleasure of a rollercoaster. So: still fucked up, but the kind of fucked up they’re all equal partners in anyway. “Yeah, we get it. Enough already.”

“You asked me to explain it. Multiple times.” Out of the corner of her eye, Wynonna saw Doc give Waverly a look. “What? They did.”

Wynonna gave her a look of her own. “And we’re all very sorry for that too, now.”

Now it was her turn to squirm under one of Doc's penetrating looks. “Are we?” He scratched his chin, thoughtful. “I’d say I’m intrigued, more like. Intrigued and satisfied… and in dire need of a wash, but I would not consider any of this something to be _sorry_ for.”

Waverly’s eyes looked about ready to bug out of her head. “Oooh- _kay_ , this seems like a just you guys conversation, so I’m gonna let you have it. Wynonna… call me later, okay? Or I’ll see you at home. Or you can not come home and call me. Whichever!” She turned and fled the way she came, shoes squeaking a little on the linoleum.

The silence sat there on the floor with them, an unwelcome partner, until Wynonna couldn’t bear the wait any longer and said the first thing that popped into her head.

“So.” Well, they couldn't all be winners. “That happened.” She nodded to fill time, popping her lips nervously. “Looks like we all kinda got outed there, huh?”

“Looks like.” Dolls’ sweet smile was back in lurk mode, but the stern taskmaster was still out to lunch. “No use denying it now, I guess.”

Doc groaned, standing and cracking his neck with exaggerated effort. “If we’re all resolved to take the untraversed route now that the start of the way’s been cleared, there must be a better place to do it than this floor.”

They were actually going to do this. Wynonna’s knees trembled a little, and she rolled her eyes to try and cover what a cliché one round of admittedly earth shattering, eye-opening, potentially boundary redefining sex had already made her. “You could just say ‘let’s go fuck’. He could just go say let’s go fuck, right Dolls?”

“I’ve got an apartment.” Dolls ignored her, eyes boring into Doc’s face intently. “Does that count?”

“Well.” Doc pursed his lips. “Is there liquor, and a soft surface or two?”

“Plenty of both.”

“In that case, deputy marshal, I’d say it qualifies. Lead on and I will follow.” His lips quirked, then Dolls’ followed in suit and the slight tension lifted. “This time.”

Grabbing her jeans off the top of the file cabinet, Wynonna wriggled back into them. “Wow, did you guys just have a moment? I think that was a moment.”

“And the moment’s over.” Dolls still had that sweet smile tucked into the corners of his mouth, though, and his hand gently squeezed hers. “All right, then. Let’s go.”


End file.
